I often feel like a failure as a woman. I think when genes were being given out I missed out a very important one, that every other woman that I know seems to have. I mean, I got the boobs and the hips, a good set of girly eyelashes and a high pitched voice but I missed out on one vital component. I missed out on the shopping gene.
I hate shopping. There, I said it! I utterly hate, despise and avoid at all costs shopping. In particular, I hate clothes shopping. I can handle grocery shopping and can put up shopping for homeware if I have to, but clothes shopping is totally and utterly beyond me.
When I tell people this they look at me like I have two heads.
It’s not that I don’t like wearing nice things or having nice clothes, it’s just that the process of getting them is as unappealing to me as eating live crickets washed down with a cup of sick.
The concept that other women go shopping for pleasure is just absolutely foreign to me. I go shopping on only two occasions, firstly if a clothing item was worn out and needs to be replaced and secondly for special occasions. That’s it. Having a child has actually been good as there are now far less ‘special occasions’ now so my number of shopping trips has decreased dramatically.
I envy the other girls at work who always have new clothes and look so stylish. I would like to look like that. In my perfect world someone would send me a selection of items each season, that would look great on me (and I could afford). There would be no trudging from shop to shop, no trying an infinite number of items on only to discard them all and no wondering whether or not something actually looks okay or not. (When I win millions in the lotto I will definitely be hiring a stylist to do this for me).
Online shopping like Ezibuy, has been a god-send for me as it eliminates many of the aspects of shopping that I dislike, like going from shop to shop and having to try on multiple items only to buy none of them, but it’s still shopping and I don’t think it will ever make it to my ‘top 10 favourite things to do’ list.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a yo-yo-er from way back, but the size and shape of my body seems to have no bearing whatsoever on my dislike of shopping. I dislike it equally at both the bottom and top ends of the yo-yo. Likewise being a grown up and having an above-minimum-wage j0b has also done nothing to increase my enjoyment of it either. I can’t help it, I just don’t like it.
I’ve tried and failed numerous times over the years to cure this. I’ve taken my friends / husband / mum shopping with me (which just seems to make it worse), I’ve tried going shopping when I’m relaxed and have plenty of time (I just come home grumpy and stressed) and I’ve tried knowing what I want ahead of time so it’s quick and easy (invariably I can never find what it is I am after so I end up going home grumpy and empty handed).
I have come to accept that this is who I am, and so I’ll keep buying a lotto ticket each week (in the hope of being able to hire a personal stylist.)